Curse

Arturo02 · Nov 24, 2005, 05:55 AM // 05:55

but there is a catch....

when you explain it, I will do exactly what you tell me. Keep that in mind.

The right answer gets...hmmmm.....um.....the knowledge they can tell an alien how to make a PB&J sandwich?

P.S. A PB&J sandwich is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for those who might not know that.

d4nowar · Nov 24, 2005, 06:43 AM // 06:43

I did this in 4th grade, lets see if I can remember how to do it.

This is assuming you have the ingrediants in front of you.

Step 1: Open the bag of bread in whatever way you deem necessary. The normal way would be to untwist the twistie, or whatever. If there are any inner bags, like most bread comes in these days (don't ask me why), open that as well.

Step 2: Take two whole slices of bread out of the opened back and put them on a plate with each slice having a whole face facing towards you, and the other side on the plate (this means place them side by side on the plate in a way that they would stay their under their own weight, so no putting them on their edges).

Step 3: Grab your jar of peanut butter and place your dominant hand on the lid. Grip tightly and move your wrist in whatever way would turn the lid 1080 degrees counter clockwise. A similar motion to this would be spinning a very large dreidel. If this does not remove the lid, turn it one more time. Lift the lid and place it wherever you want. Remove any seal that is underneath by stabbing your finger through it and tearing it away in a rather hilarious manner.

Step 4: Acquire a knife and stab it approximately 3 inches at a 90 degree angle into the opened top of the jar of peanut butter. Tilt the knife to a 45 degree angle and lift up approximately 5 inches. This should have scooped some peanut butter onto the knife, if not, try again with the second angle being less than 45, possible 40 or 35 degrees.

Step 5: Still holding the knife, pick up one of the slices of bread and commence the lathering of the peanut butter. You can do this in many ways. One such way would be to hold the bread stationary while you move the peanut butter side of the knife around on the bread, until it is efficiently spread. Try not to make any holes in the bread as it causes a bit of stickiness. Put down the piece of bread sticky-side-up on the plate where you had it before.

Step 6: Repeat steps 3, 4, and 5, except use the jar of jelly and apply these to the other clean piece of bread.

Step 7: Put down the knife somewhere and pick up one of the pieces of bread in a way that lets you maneuver it without getting your hands sticky. Place the sticky side of this bread onto the sticky side of the other slice. Do this in a way that aligns all of the parts of bread so that if you looked directly above the stack, you would only see one piece.

Step 8: Throw away, do whatever you want with everything else because you just made yourself a fine looking sandwich.

That should work...

PieXags · Nov 24, 2005, 07:42 AM // 07:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arturo02

but there is a catch....

when you explain it, I will do exactly what you tell me. Keep that in mind.

The right answer gets...hmmmm.....um.....the knowledge they can tell an alien how to make a PB&J sandwich?

P.S. A PB&J sandwich is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for those who might not know that.

Get yourself two pieces of bread from wherever you keep it. Take out your peanut butter and jelly from wherever you keep them. Get a butter knife from wherever you keep it. Lay the two pieces of bread on the counter top so they lie naturally. Using the knife, spread peanut butter on the top side of one piece, and again using the knife spread jelly on the top side of the other piece.

Stick the two pieces of bread together so that the sides with the added ingredients (peanut butter and jelly) tough eachother.

Now eat that shit and give PieXags half.

d4nowar · Nov 24, 2005, 07:52 AM // 07:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by PieXags

Get yourself two pieces of bread from wherever you keep it. Take out your peanut butter and jelly from wherever you keep them. Get a butter knife from wherever you keep it. Lay the two pieces of bread on the counter top so they lie naturally. Using the knife, spread peanut butter on the top side of one piece, and again using the knife spread jelly on the top side of the other piece.

Stick the two pieces of bread together so that the sides with the added ingredients (peanut butter and jelly) tough eachother.

Now eat that shit and give PieXags half.

Pfft, in 4th grade, the rules were you had to do it EXACTLY how you would do it or else you'd fail. Yeah it sucked. I forgot the twisty thing in mine and the teacher (who demonstrated random ones) ended up putting peanut butter and jelly all over a bag of bread. I was pissed.

SOT · Nov 24, 2005, 08:43 AM // 08:43

Or just steal your kid sisters

PieXags · Nov 24, 2005, 09:08 AM // 09:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by d4nowar

Pfft, in 4th grade, the rules were you had to do it EXACTLY how you would do it or else you'd fail. Yeah it sucked. I forgot the twisty thing in mine and the teacher (who demonstrated random ones) ended up putting peanut butter and jelly all over a bag of bread. I was pissed.

I did it in grade school as well, except I fouled up because I said "put the pieces of bread together", and obviously the smartass teacher put them with the PB&J on the outsides. Besides, if you follow my instructions exactly, you'll get it right. How the hell am I supposed to know where people keep their bread?!

SOT · Nov 24, 2005, 09:41 AM // 09:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by PieXags

I did it in grade school as well, except I fouled up because I said "put the pieces of bread together", and obviously the smartass teacher put them with the PB&J on the outsides. Besides, if you follow my instructions exactly, you'll get it right. How the hell am I supposed to know where people keep their bread?!

Pie should only concern itself with coolwhip.

COunt it If it GoEs · Nov 25, 2005, 03:49 AM // 03:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by d4nowar

I did this in 4th grade, lets see if I can remember how to do it.

This is assuming you have the ingrediants in front of you.

Step 1: Open the bag of bread in whatever way you deem necessary. The normal way would be to untwist the twistie, or whatever. If there are any inner bags, like most bread comes in these days (don't ask me why), open that as well.

Step 2: Take two whole slices of bread out of the opened back and put them on a plate with each slice having a whole face facing towards you, and the other side on the plate (this means place them side by side on the plate in a way that they would stay their under their own weight, so no putting them on their edges).

Step 3: Grab your jar of peanut butter and place your dominant hand on the lid. Grip tightly and move your wrist in whatever way would turn the lid 1080 degrees counter clockwise. A similar motion to this would be spinning a very large dreidel. If this does not remove the lid, turn it one more time. Lift the lid and place it wherever you want. Remove any seal that is underneath by stabbing your finger through it and tearing it away in a rather hilarious manner.

Step 4: Acquire a knife and stab it approximately 3 inches at a 90 degree angle into the opened top of the jar of peanut butter. Tilt the knife to a 45 degree angle and lift up approximately 5 inches. This should have scooped some peanut butter onto the knife, if not, try again with the second angle being less than 45, possible 40 or 35 degrees.

Step 5: Still holding the knife, pick up one of the slices of bread and commence the lathering of the peanut butter. You can do this in many ways. One such way would be to hold the bread stationary while you move the peanut butter side of the knife around on the bread, until it is efficiently spread. Try not to make any holes in the bread as it causes a bit of stickiness. Put down the piece of bread sticky-side-up on the plate where you had it before.

Step 6: Repeat steps 3, 4, and 5, except use the jar of jelly and apply these to the other clean piece of bread.

Step 7: Put down the knife somewhere and pick up one of the pieces of bread in a way that lets you maneuver it without getting your hands sticky. Place the sticky side of this bread onto the sticky side of the other slice. Do this in a way that aligns all of the parts of bread so that if you looked directly above the stack, you would only see one piece.

Step 8: Throw away, do whatever you want with everything else because you just made yourself a fine looking sandwich.

That should work...

lmao that was some funny shit, the way u explained it.
haha
acquire a knife

d4nowar · Nov 25, 2005, 03:53 AM // 03:53

Yeah... I made sure to explain it using words that one wouldn't generally find in someone telling another person how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Xue Yi Liang · Nov 25, 2005, 04:28 AM // 04:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arturo02

but there is a catch....

when you explain it, I will do exactly what you tell me. Keep that in mind.

Hmm. OK.
1. Stand up.
2. Tuck your right hand in your right armpit and your left hand in your left armpit.
3. Flap your elbows up and down.
4. Now run in circles clucking like a chicken.
5. Continue this for 30 minutes.
6. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
7. Enjoy.

Arturo02 · Nov 25, 2005, 05:01 AM // 05:01

yah, I posted this because, well it being the Thanksgiving holiday here in the US, it's also a big reunion weekend for friends, family, school graduation classes. Thought a nice dose of nostalgia with something you did in elementary class would be fun and conjure up memories

I don't know who won, but now I am hungry again. Someone want to describe how to make a sandwich from Thanksgiving leftovers?

lol

William The Smasher · Nov 25, 2005, 05:35 AM // 05:35

i had to do something similar to this in 5th grade. we had to explain EXACTLY how to tie a shoe(for science class). i went into great detail and got a decent grade....some jackass in our class forgot to do it so he went up in front of the class and said, "loop, swoop, and pull."

he failed.

Xue Yi Liang · Nov 25, 2005, 05:50 AM // 05:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arturo02

I don't know who won, but now I am hungry again. Someone want to describe how to make a sandwich from Thanksgiving leftovers?

lol

no problem.
1. Stand up.
2. Tuck your right hand in your right armpit and your left hand in your left armpit.
3. Flap your elbows up and down.
4. Now run in circles clucking like a chicken.
5. Continue this for 30 minutes.
6. Turkey sandwich.
7. Enjoy.

Slade xTekno · Nov 25, 2005, 05:53 AM // 05:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xue Yi Liang

no problem.
1. Stand up.
2. Tuck your right hand in your right armpit and your left hand in your left armpit.
3. Flap your elbows up and down.
4. Now run in circles clucking like a chicken.
5. Continue this for 30 minutes.
6. Turkey sandwich.
7. Enjoy.

Damn, that was good! Thanks a bunch!

Arturo02 · Nov 25, 2005, 05:55 AM // 05:55

Xue you lost cause you were supposed to gobble like a turkey!!

Cam_Payton · Nov 25, 2005, 06:03 AM // 06:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by d4nowar

I did this in 4th grade, lets see if I can remember how to do it.

WTF, this is part of school now? My 5yr old can do this............and why is no one toasting bread? Cold is gross.

nebucanezar · Nov 25, 2005, 06:22 AM // 06:22

usually if i want a pb@ j sammich made ill call the housekeeper into the living room tell her im hungry then instruct her to make me a pb&j sammich. Works every time. Well when she is here that is. So three days a week it works heh.